> netslackers <

Neither rain, nor snow, nor mortal wound...
-- Wednesday, June 08, 2005 --

At long last, all the characteristics of a dedicated employee of the U.S. Postal Service and a Navy SEAL have been combined in the soul of one man. He is ready to deliver your package at any time to any location regardless of inclement weather, physical impossibility, or enemy fire. And if that package just happens to be pizza, in thirty minutes or less or it's free. We should all be like this man. Proud, hardworking, and fucking indestructible.

In a further news update, netslackers brings you further proof of society's losing battle with infinite regression. Actually, the article itself isn't that funny, but I find the title amusing. There's something very Far Side about the mental image it conjurs up. Nothing too clear, but it definitely involves strangely deformed human beings wearing lab coats and glasses that completely obscure their eyes and eating bananas and shooting dart guns at each other. The truth is out: Science is done. Liberty, equality, subjectivity, or death!

But for God's sake, what about the chickens?

> Abby 4:33 PM [111826397714870432]
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The following conversation actually occurred. You can have it unfold in real time if you read it aloud.

KC: Hey dad, why do we have two types of trash bags?

Rex: Some are indoor and some are outdoor. There are small and white ones and big and black ones.

KC: [Awkward silence]

Rex: Just like people.

KC: [Horrified and stunned pause followed by awkward silence]

Yes. My dad really does go by the name "Rex." He is not a dinosaur or a dog. If one were to throw him a Frisbee, he would make no attempt to catch it with his mouth. I've tried. Nothing. Not even when I throw it at his face.

Coming back from school has had its pluses and minuses. Hearing my dear old pa make a penis joke probably falls under the negative.

> KC 1:19 AM [111803706066502449]
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