> netslackers <

this is not my homework assignment
-- Thursday, April 28, 2005 --

The time is 4:07 a.m. The place is outside the lounge on the floor I live on. I told myself four hours ago that I would begin work and so far

Nothing.

I need to write two 250-word essays by 2 p.m. 500 words does not take long to type. Hell, I've already got over 70 with the completion of this sentence and it only took me about three minutes to type. At this rate it should take me somewhere between 5 and 27 hours to complete my assignment because what I'm writing at this very moment has very little to do with what I should be writing.

Third Eye Blind once posed the question, "Can I graduate?" I too would like to ask that question but without screaming it to musical accompaniment.

Actually that's not entirely fair. I have actually quite enjoyed college. I would be perfectly fine with just moving on from my freshman year in which I have learned little and accomplished even less.

Students entering their first year of college this coming fall: beware. Your randomly selected roommate may very well call Satan's asshole his or her hometown. If this is the case and you are not hell-spawn yourself, prepare yourself for long sleepless nights wondering if this will be the night your roomie decides to crack open your head and feast on your brains.

You will probably come back to your room some night to find a combination lock you do not know the combination to on a chain wrapped around the hinges of your door in order to prevent you from closing the door without your roommate's permission.

Your roommate will probably also wear all black and communicate with you exclusively via slamming your the door very loudly in the morning to wake you up.

At least that's how my roommate was. I expect it's part of the first-year experience so learn to enjoy it!

Hey! Here's a treat! If you hurry over to my dorm right now, you might be able to catch some of the draw-droppingly beautiful sounds emanating from my floor's bathroom at this very moment! Or you can order my CD, Sounds of the Dorm Bathroom Part I: Food Poisoning and Alcohol. It features my personal favorite track, Barfing in B-Minor.

I could begin to think about what I might write my essays on, but I've still got several more hours of procrastinating I haven't completed. I better get on that.

> KC 4:07 AM [111467855463052671]
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