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Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned from my First Semester at College
-- Friday, October 08, 2004 --
Valuable lessons:
1. Don't feed the plants
2. Little Red Riding Hood: A Story of Small Children, Woodland Wildlife, and Date Rape
3. Crime and Punishment: A Story of Small Children, Urban Wildlife, and Date Rape
4. Hobgoblins beat the orcs and took their lunch money
5. You can't have sex with a bull, even if you slip it GHB
7. Food is no substitute for pizza
8. Poland: stalwart ally of the west
9. Gravity works
Numerical college:
Number of classes: 4
Number of credits: 4.5
Number of meals per week: 20
Number of meals wanted per week: 21
Number of closets: 4
Number of private bathrooms connected to my dormroom: 2
Number of cockroach souls sent to that great, big, cockroach resting place in the sky under the iron heel of my flip-flop: 4
Number of known cockroaches at large: 1
Number of foam swords in my dorm: Many
Number of samurai swords in my dorm: 2
Number of samurai in my dorm: 4
Number of foam-sword wielding samurai in my dorm: All of them
Number of days I'll be home on fall vacation starting Saturday: 7
You knew it was all leading up to something. Netslackers are back again on the prowl in the Greater Washington area, where the Metro is bountiful, the strip malls are above average, and most importantly, the laundry is free. Oh, and friends. Friends are good, too. So if I know you and don't hate you and aren't repulsed by your political views and/or smell (these two often work in tandem), come by and chill. It'll be fun. I'll bring the bongo drums.
> Abby 1:53 AM [109721277272558980]
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