> netslackers <

dr. sexopolis
-- Wednesday, May 12, 2004 --

Bananas. Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about sex.

Sex is a good thing and I have of course had lots of it in my 18 years of life. I will now pause so you can clean up the milk you just snorted out of your nose when you began laughing at me. That is assuming you were drinking milk. If you were not drinking milk and had nothing to clean up, please continue reading as though there were no pause in the narrative. Thank you.

Ok, so now that it has been established that I just finished telling a preposterous lie, I will continue speaking as though I have a wealth of knowledge on the subject. Just call me Dr. Sexopolis. Or KC. It doesn’t really matter.

Go up to anyone on the street and ask them if they are fans of sex. Most will respond by producing a flag and a big foam hand with the words “Sex Number One” printed in bold letters. Others will just say “yes.” Either way, my point is proved. People enjoy having sex.

The reason you’re reading this of course is to find out if I can help you get more of it. Well sir/ma'am/Mr. Transvestite, I believe I can. I’d like to announce the single most amazing, 100% full-proof, 10 year warrantee plan I am making up off the top of my head as I type to help you get a little more action.

Here it is: Rent an Indiana Jones movie and then do precisely as he does. If this doesn’t sky rocket your action quotient, I don’t know what will.

Oh, and to get more sex, try touring your neighborhood in a riding mower naked while shouting, “PLEASE COME OUT AND SEX ME UP!” at every house you pass. If you are arrested, tell the police officer you were simply soliciting sex from your neighbors in order to raise money for the oldest profession in the world. They will be forced to let you go as prostitution in the name of charity is completely legal.

> KC 12:44 AM [108433836729781683]
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