> netslackers <

anti-american hero
-- Tuesday, April 27, 2004 --

John Kerry has committed a sin this country will not soon forget. He's a war hero and fought for the United States when it asked him to, but that doesn't excuse the terrible atrocity he committed when he came back from the war. No, we cannot forgive him because what he did is akin to whipping out your penis and publicly urinating on the American flag while singing red China's national anthem. John Kerry committed an act so despicable and morally repugnant that I feel like I'm being kicked in the groin repeatedly every time I think about it.

If you don't know about this controversy sweeping the nation, let me explain: back in the 70s John Kerry was filmed on camera tossing away some medals or possibly ribbons that may or may not have all been his to protest a war he fought in but now wanted to end and in some interview recently he had the audacity to try defending his actions (Google News).

Yes, I know what you're thinking. This man is the devil himself. George W. Bush avoided the war all together and can't account for some of the time he supposedly spent protecting the United States from any possible Vietnamese invasion of the mid-west, but golly-gee, he sure as HELL didn't throw away the medals his dad gave him to play with because the armed forces wouldn't give him any.

I'd say this definitely gives the edge to my buddy Georgie. But he better be careful. What if the Democrats try the same tactic? What if the Democrats start taking the Republicans to task for all sorts of completely trivial things that have nothing to do with a public official's ability to run the country? What if Kerry points out that Bush taught his daughter how to soak up beer like her wife beater at a wet t-shirt contest? What if the DNC releases an ad featuring Bush's abusive relationship with pretzels? Or even worse, what if they insinuate that Bush was attempting suicide on that fateful day when he passed out trying to digest his snack food and therefore isn't fit as commander-in-chief?

Or imagine if the Clinton campaign had taken a similar approach during the 1996 election and had released a television spot in which the announcer said in a low, worried tone, "Bob Dole takes pills to make his Tricky Dick stiff as a Gore. Do you really want a dirty old man running the land of liberty?"

So please, President Bush and various big business donors, think before you insinuate an American soldier is unpatriotic. I'd hate to see you lose this election just because some liberal hippy jerk brings up that one time you got charged with a DUI.

Remember, a vote for Bush is a vote for freedom, Jesus Christ, and all the people who died in 9-11 including the ones who were Democrats and hated his guts for stealing the election.

> KC 4:22 PM [108309732968758385]
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