> netslackers <

-- Thursday, March 04, 2004 --

[01:00] Dazi1881: KC stop making me laugh im to tired to laugh
[01:01] KC: i can't help it. i just bring the funny. you want the funny? you come to me. you can't find me? you can order the funny. ill rush deliver it. 1-3 business days not including holidays.
[01:03] Dazi1881: ok..that my friend was not funny
[01:03] Dazi1881: NIGHT
[01:03] *** Dazi1881 signed off at Sun Feb 29 01:03:22 2004.
[01:03] KC: shut down! OUCH!

Some would take rejection like the above hard. I, on the other hand, do not. Possibly because I am an android incapable of emotion and built for the sole purpose of eradicating the human race and possibly because I am a comedy God and therefore if you don't think I'm funny, you're going to the fiery pits of hell where Bob Jones and Pat Robertson will beat you with their Bibles until you pass out or agree to vote for George W. Bush in your next life.

Have you noticed that humor columnists and people who think they're funny use an inordinate amount of unnecessary vocabulary in order to beef up their word count and make sentences that really don?t serve a purpose seem hilariously funny just because of the sheer excess squeezed into the clause? For instance, the same thought is repeated over and over again throughout the course of a paragraph just so more loopy sentences can be manufactured with gratuitous, totally redundant phrases, disguising the fact that the author really doesn?t have a joke in mind.

Ad update: There are still no ads for pornography on netslackers. Instead, we have been burdened with marketing for hand dryers. You know, like the kind we've talked about several times on this very site. Oh wait, no we haven't. ("Experience a Lifetime of Savings with the most complete and affordable line of maintenance-free electric hand dryers." You know you want to get your hand on that SWEEEEEEET DR Series Model. I just quiver at the thought of having my hands dried by one of those beautiful monsters) Also, why, in Related Searches, does the term "Backstreet Boys Fan Fiction" sometimes appear? What have we done to piss Jesus and the Holy Ghost off so? Is there even an action that deserves a punishment so cruel?

Marvel at my god awful html skills.

In other news: Jumping out of window to win a bet is uncool. Just say no. However, jumping out of a window in order to win a bet and get an educator fired is totally awesome. Watch as teenage girls flock to your bedside at the hospital and worship you as the messiah for getting their geometry teacher suspended without pay. You would truly be the stud of your high school class and could finally distance yourself from those punks you used to hang out with in the Trench Coat Mafia.

Please note: I would like to bring your attention to the fact that there is now a post for the month of October, 2003 despite the fact that nothing was in fact written in October of 2003. Magic.

> KC 7:42 PM [107844734567385194]
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