> netslackers <

-- Sunday, May 25, 2003 --

I stumbled upon some old documents on my computer. Among them was one labled simply "ideas." In it I found the following (the text has been unedited): "Keep Your Helmet on Your Head."

There you have it folks. Next time you tell your child or younger brother to stick a helmet on when they're riding around the neighborhood, tell them to do it if not for themselves, then for KC Costanzo.

On a completely different note: I consider myself an aficionado when it comes to the word "dude." It's sad that I use this word but I like to think that it serves as a reminder, in case you should forget, that I am, in fact, one of the whitest men in America and as such, you should probably stand at least 12 feet away if you ever find yourself conversing with me to make sure you don't catch my ultra-white cooties. Below I've listed the various ways in which the word "dude" can be used in a sentence. It's almost as diverse a word as the ever popular f-word (I'm talking about "Fuck" but I'm not using it in case it offends anyone).

"Dude." - "Hey, look over here."
"Dude . . ." - "You're wrong and here's why."
"DUDE." - "That's really stupid."
"Dude!" - "That's really cool."
"dude." - "I'm tired, leave me alone."
"dUdE." - "That's really stupid, but I'm tired so leave me alone."
"dUDE." - "Hello, I am going through puberty."
"Dood." - "I am the typical American teenager who can't speak English."
"Dude.com" - "This is my witty Information-Age take on a popular saying."

"Dude" is a word appropriate for all conversations and settings as far as I'm concerned . . . . well, approriate in all cases except one. The word "dude" and the question "Where's my car?" should never be placed together as doing such opens up an intellectual void capable of sucking up all sentient life for miles. You have been warned, Hollywood. A sequel could mean the destruction of this entire nation.

Note: This list may be incorrect and should not be taken as the definitive grammatical authority on the word "dude."

> KC 2:04 AM [105384264150218322]
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