> netslackers <

-- Sunday, March 30, 2003 --

I don't have much time to post tonight, but I thought I'd say we should all have this onion.com graphic on our websites:



Oh, and I don't think this is far from happening.

In other news: It's Prime Time -- The US led Allied Coalition for or Against Some Vague Objective (or whetever the hell we're calling ourselves these days) now has a secret weapon the likes of which the world has never seen except on Saturday morning cartoons. Yes, Optimus Prime is fighting on our side.



> KC 9:44 PM [91680512]
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Woah, no updates in a while . . . well unless you count Branden's post last night that said, and I quote, "THE MARYLAND GAME OWNED!!!!!!" Yes, I deleted it.

KCNile: ill leave it up if you just add a few coherent sentences after it
B182bwb: too much work

A few things have happened since I last left a message. First of all, the United States has pretty much put the smackdown on Baghdad. To use a metaphor (a comparison between two things that are more or less completely unrelated; people who write thick books with titles like The Day World Stopped Spinning because it was Dizzy like to use them), this war is essentially between a used and abused action figure with threatening karate-chop action capabilities (Iraq) and a two-year-old toddler who enjoys shoving things in his mouth before dropping them on the floor (USA). Don't see the connection? Don't worry, you wouldn't be the first to misinterpret my genius as stupidity. Anyway, they might have gotten Saddam, but then again it could just be one of his body-doubles. In the meantime, Baghdad has been reduced to rubble and I'm sure I don't want to know what the casualties are like on the Iraqi side, civilian or otherwise.

I haven't really written about any events that directly involve me except for sporadic Silver Chips updates and for the most part that's the way I'm going to leave it. I figured the following warranted an exception:

We had a walkout on Thursday to protest the war and you couldn't have asked for a nicer day. All that rain and the bitter cold sure made the marching fun especially in shorts and a t-shirt. I did find a jacket in my car, but I was the only kid out there without at least a pair of jeans on. It really wasn't so bad once my legs had lost all feeling and turned the color of Tinky Winky. After we did a bunch of disorganized laps around the school, most people left.



Those that hung around were all supposedly going to a protest consisting of MCPS students meeting at Judiciary Square. I had a car so I shuttled two groups of kids to the subway station and eventually got on myself. I reached the Metro stop around 3:40 and saw about eight kids waiting around. It took us some time to figure out that the rest of the group had congregated at the other exit and by the time we made this discovery, there were only four or five of us left. In total we numbered somewhere around 75 and sadly few kids from Blair were there and some of them left before we even got moving.

We spent the first hour or so walking aimlessly around in a tight circle mumbling various hackneyed chants and occasionally people would hit their "drums" (more often than not these were buckets) loudly for no apparent reason. The protestors beat their buckets with such precision and in such unison that they might have even rivaled the conformity of a synchronized swimming team whose members consist of turrets syndrome patients high on crack cocaine. The circle we walked in was maybe a little larger than, say, your average family room. It was a pretty pitiful sight.

When we finally got going though, it turned out to be well worth the wait. We were a small group but we attracted the attention of no less than five police cars of various makes and models that followed us the entire time except for the few times we somehow managed to lose them. Honks rained down on us and everytime one was directed at us, we cheered . . . whether they were honking to support us or simply to grab our attention so they could flick us off.

We ended up meeting with a much larger group of adults at Dupont Cirlce at which point some of my long-lost friends showed up. Yes, two of them write on this blog (Chris and if you still consider her a contributor to this site, Maya). Maya had told me she'd meet up with me at the subway station and Chris and the rest were all supposed to have been there much earlier too. Instead they were lazy and sat at home eating food. Guilt tripping is quite possibly the greatest of the American pastimes, just ahead of baseball and fast food bingeing.

The final leg of the trip was a march down to the White House where we stood and shouted at pretty much no one except for a few cameras, the line of police motorcyclists to our left making sure we didn't spill onto the other side of the road, and the guards standing behind the barrier cracking jokes. It was 7:30 when we left meaning I was outside in the rain walking pretty much non-stop for about six and a half hours.

All I can say is the world damn well better have been watching us on the fucking TV because I missed the NCAA Tournament for this shit.

In other news: Speaking of the Tourney, my bracket is shot to hell. I'm on a two year skid now after being in the 98th percentile back in 2001. At any rate, there have been a bunch of good games. Here's the rundown of how the ACC teams have faired: NC State went into OT before losing to Cal, Drew Nicholas hit a last second three to save the Terps from an upset at the hands of UNC Wilmington, Wake Forest nearly got knocked off by East Tennessee State in a nail-biter, and Duke got a scare from Colorado State.

There were also a bunch of great individual performances I'd talk about if only I weren't tired of writing.

Duke plays again tonight against Central Michigan. The Blue Devils have pretty much had a cake walk to the Sweet 16. We'll see if they can do any damage after that.


> KC 2:51 PM [91191103]
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It looks like the war might clash with the NCAA Tourney.

Apparently something spooked NCAA President Myles Brand after he talked to our old friend Tom Ridge because he's considering rescheduling the tournament. He seemed a little wishy-washy on the matter and it looks like there won't be a final decision any time tonight. He talked a little about needing to show respect for "the men and women in uniform" (how postponing games does this is unclear) and about keeping the fans safe. There doesn't seem to be much to the story right now, the title pretty much tells you everything you need to know.

In other news: A crazed tobacco farmer cranked up the volume of his military exercise cadence recordings and took his tractor for a dip in a pond near the Washington Monument. The farmer and his tractor are reportedly still in the water in a standoff with police. I struggled to come up with something funny to say about this situation, but this man is an obvious threat to our national security and as such cannot be taken lightly. Obviously this situation takes precedence over the war in Iraq and it's clear Bush must bring military action against the tobacco industry and the South --- a preemptive strike if you will. If we don't act now to stop the tobacco farming menace, our nation's tractors and ponds could be in jeopardy. God speed, Mr. President.

> KC 12:54 AM [90906132]
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March Madness and the West Bracket of Death

Wow. What a week of college basketball. Duke picked up it's fifth straight ACC title by coming back from 15 down to beat NC State in a rematch of last year's championship.

Of course, after that Duke got screwed. They got placed as a number three seed in the West Bracket (aka: the Bracket of Death). Not only is the West packed with competitive teams (Arizona, Kansas, and Illinois to name a few), Duke should have been a number two seed. Who gets it instead? Wake Forest, the same team that lost in the semifinals of the ACC Tournament. It's complete bull shit.

There are a few other problems with the bracket, but I don't want to sit here and type the whole thing out so I'll just mention that some deserving bubble teams (Boston College and Texas Tech) got left out and BYU is scheduled to play on a Sunday if it somehow gets to the Sweet 16 (a problem because the school's religious practices prohibit them from playing on Sundays). In short, the selection committee was on crack when it made up the field of 65.

In other news: There's also some war thing going on in some country across the ocean. I think the US may somehow be involved. But who cares, this is college basketball season, right?

I actually read a post on the ESPN college basketball message board wherein the writer actually said he doesn't care about the war in Iraq because a) it doesn't involve him in any way and b) he doesn't live in a city that will be targeted for retaliation. Yes, this guy lives in the United States and he doesn't give a damn that we're about to go to war. Today's youth isn't stupid, it's just ignorant --- OK, so maybe a little bit of both.

By the way, what is wrong with this freak who was photographed and placed in the MSNBC story I linked to? What kind of warped human being smiles when someone gets on TV and says that the nation the viewer is currently sitting in watching the news is going to attack the country he's from and probably has family in? Oh, wait, that's one of those flat-screen wall TVs he's got hanging there isn't it? No wonder! He's rich!

> KC 11:31 PM [90901872]
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Colin Powell was on TV earlier. He said something along the following lines: the United States has a great track record over the last 60 years of leaving countries better off than we found them. Apparently Powell didn't get the same US history education the rest of us got.

I was looking for something to link to related to Colin Powell, preferably a political cartoon or something along those lines. I searched for “Colin Powell comic” and somehow wound up with an article entitled, "Colin Powell, Pod Person?” I delved into the article and not only does the piece have a liberal slant to it (ok, it’s more of a horizontal arrow pointing left), it's funny too. The guy who wrote it, Alan Bisbort, brings up a bunch of evidence supporting his assertion that Powell has transformed into a warmongering Bush-lackey. It’s definitely worth a look if you have the time.

And now, without further adieu, I present the

Silver Chips Online ACC Tournament Preview Part II

Second Round
#1 Wake Forest vs. #4 NC State – Wake Forest is long overdue for an upset. This match-up should change that. Wake Forest ended the regular season with a six game win streak but in those wins the margin of victory was just 6.5 points. During that streak, every game but the last has been against teams in the bottom half of the conference, including narrow four-point victories against Virginia and Florida St. The season closed with a six-point win over the Wolf Pack. NC State will be looking for revenge and the team has more to play for than the Demon Deacons. The Pack needs to rack up as many wins as it can to get to the big dance and coach Herb Sendek is well aware of this. He’ll have his team ready to go and he won’t have to lean as heavily on Julius Hodge for points. Lately junior guard Scooter Sherrill has stepped up his game, scoring well over his season average 10.2 points per game in three out of the last four contests. If this game comes down to free-throws, NC State has a slight advantage as the top free-throw shooting team in the ACC.

Outcome: NC State wins

#2 Maryland vs. #3 Duke – This game features two teams that stumbled badly at the end of the season. Both the Terrapins and the Blue Devils lost their last regular season games to bottom-feeders Virginia and North Carolina respectively. Strangely, Duke lost to the very team Maryland blew out by 40 points while Maryland had the season series with Virginia swept by the Cavaliers, a team Duke went 2-0 against. In their first meeting, Maryland blew-out Duke 87-72, but Duke got the better of Maryland down the road, edging out the Terps 75-70 after a hard fought game that the Blue Devils none-the-less led most of the way. The Maryland-Duke series has turned into quite a rivalry over the past several years and both teams will be fighting hard to win this year’s rubber-match. While Duke has the advantage of playing relatively close to home, Maryland has the advantage of senior leadership, something Duke has sorely missed this season. Duke has arguably the best player of the two teams in Dahntay Jones, however Maryland could easily overwhelm him with their terrific backcourt-duo of Drew Nicholas and Steve Blake. This game could really go either way, but if the game comes down to the final minutes as everyone expects it to, the outcome favors Maryland because of the poise and confidence Blake exudes. Still, don’t be surprised if Duke pulls out the win.

Outcome: Maryland wins
______________________________________________

There, I said it. Maryland has a slight edge. I think I'll go kill myself now. You know, it probably isn't good that my emotions hinge so much on the performance of a basketball team I have no personal involvement in.

> KC 12:58 PM [90657440]
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Today’s top news: Algona makes national news with arrival of giant Cheeto

This is the dumbest national news item I've been aware of since . . . well, ever. What possible news value do people see in this? There isn't any. The Cheeto isn’t even that big. In all the pictures it looks to be maybe three times the diameter of a quarter. I don't understand why newspapers are even bothering to cover this. I could see a humor columnist writing something or maybe a section on a weird news site, but this has no place among real stories. I mean maybe if the Cheeto were five feet tall or something it would make sense to put up a small story in the back pages of the local paper, but this is ridiculous. Further more, if Algona's only pride and joy is this Cheeto, as evidence suggests is the case, the city really needs to reexamine itself and figure out what went wrong.

In other news: The beloved Governor Ehrlich wants to bring the "gaming industry" (aka: casinos and con-artists) to Maryland. This is a great idea provided he wants to go down in history as the man who destroyed an entire state. Won't someone think of the hockey players?

> KC 10:56 AM [90650613]
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First of all, just thought I'd point you all in the direction of an anti-war Beastie Boys song called In a World Gone Mad. By the way, word to the wise, don't type in a "y" in place of "ie" for the word "beastie" like I accidentaly did when I was trying to get to the Beastie Boys website. It isn't a pretty site.

Now for something completely different. I thought I'd post my Silver Chips Online ACC Tournament Preview before it goes up tomorrow. Yes, that's right, you get to see it here before everyone else does on Silver Chips. You lucky dog.

Note: These are just the first round predictions. The rest will come out soon.

Silver Chips Online ACC Tournament Preview

Play-in game
#8 Clemson vs. #9 Florida St. – Clemson’s last win came on February 22 against none other than Florida St. Despite the fact that the Tigers have since gone on a four game slide, don’t be surprised when they pull away from the Seminoles in the second half. Clemson’s senior star Edward Scott averages 18 points per game and he’ll be looking to finish off his career with style. Clemson is fourth in the ACC in three-point percentage and sixth in rebound, better than Florida St. in both categories, so expect the Tigers to shoot a lot of threes and go up for second looks after misses.

Outcome: Clemson wins

First round
#1 Wake Forest vs. #8 Clemson – Last time these two teams met, Clemson stuck with Wake Forest most of the way, but ultimately the Demon Deacons pulled away. With perhaps the best player this year in Josh Howard, Wake Forest should have no problem pushing the Tigers to the wayside. The Demon Deacons have dominated the boards nearly every game this season and Clemson has no one who can stop Vytas Danelius from pounding the ball inside. Clemson need to sink a high percentage of their three-pointer attempts if they want to stay in the game.

Outcome: Wake Forest wins

#2 Maryland vs. #7 North Carolina – North Carolina has shown flashes of greatness this season, most recently shining after pulling off an upset at home against Duke. However, the Tar Heels have had more lows than highs this season after starting off 7-3 with Sean May before he suffered a season-ending injury. As a result, UNC has no inside presence and Maryland took advantage of this weakness last time the two teams met. Ryan Randle scored 14 points in just 25 minutes to help the Terps roll to a 40-point victory. UNC has limited offensive options and while Rashad McCants’ excellent three-point shooting will help, it won’t be enough.

Outcome: Maryland wins

#3 Duke vs. #6 Virginia – Virginia has been one of the year’s biggest disappointments. The Cavaliers were picked to finish high in the conference but instead they find themselves below .500 and without an at-large NCAA Tournament bid. Things aren’t going to get any better because Duke presents a challenge Virginia just isn’t ready for. If freshman shooting-sensation J.J. Redick is on target and Dahntay Jones pumps up the team with a big dunk, Virginia may be buried in one of Duke’s infamous runs early on. Virginia’s MVP, Travis Watson, will be slowed down by Duke’s most improved player, Shelden Williams, on the inside. With their top scorer hindered, Virginia will be going home early.

Outcome: Duke wins

#4 NC State vs. #5 Georgia Tech – The Wolf Pack finished off their regular season with a win at Clemson sandwiched between to crushing home defeats against two of the ACC’s top three teams. NC State is the definition of team with a season on the brink. Had the team won just one of the two close games it lost against Maryland and Wake Forest, NC State would have had a very good shot at an NCAA at-large bid. As things now stand, the Pack is in serious danger of missing the tournament and most likely need to win the ACC Tournament to get the automatic bid or not go to the big dance at all. That said, NC State, aided by its renewed sense of urgency should be able to take care of freshman star Chris Bosh and Georgia Tech. As long as Julius Hodge doesn’t have to carry the team on his back like he has some nights, the Wolf Pack’s superior offense and defense, both statistically in the top half of the league, should seal the deal.

Outcome: NC State wins
______________________________________________

Well, that's all I've got. I need to get some sleep. I've been sick and I'm missing school again. Oh darn.


> KC 1:52 AM [90573091]
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You messin' with me?

Hmm, I feel strangely under attack.

Chris, the fact of the matter is I didn't sell out. At least, I don't think I did. I may disagree with the man's politics, but I still wanted to hear what he had to say. I didn't ask to go stand up there behind Ridge. I was up there because it's what my thousands or adoring fans wanted. Oh, that and I was sort of haphazardly pulled from the group.

I had no problem with Ridge and Paige's stated reason for being there. If there's something wrong with helping schools prepare for emergencies should they arise, someone please tell me what it is. I know Ridge and Paige were there mostly to drum up positive media coverage, but then, what politician isn't?

I don't feel physically standing behind Ridge was in any way a metaphor for standing behind him on all his policies. Anyway, the whole thing is inconsequential because the press conferece was probably broadcast live to an audience of five people around the country, so who the fuck cares.

In other news: In the last two days, our readership has dramatically increased. In fact, it has increased an infinite amount because before we had no readers. I know for a fact that at least two people have read at least one word on this page as evidenced by the two random messages we got recently on the Tag-Board to the left. That's one small step for man . . . and also one pretty small step for us.

> KC 9:31 PM [90494664]
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KC is the Republican Propagandist

That's right, I traded in my beliefs for a little national television air-time.

Well, not quite.

I went to the Ridge/Paige press conference with the intent of sitting in the audience. There were only a few students let in. I was chosen after a grueling selection process that consisted of me raisng my hand in class. Just four students were allowed to go as accredited journalists, the rest of us were told we'd be somewhere in the room. As it turned out, it didn't really matter if you were with the media or not because no one was allowed to ask questions. When the students met before the conference, they took eight "randomly" selected students from the group to stand behind the presentation. The reason I put "randomly" in quotes is to denote the fact that it clearly wasn't random. They picked out minorities to make the setting more diverse. I guess they decided they needed one white guy in there too so they through me into the background as well.

Just look at that picture Branden posted from the Washington Post. Clearly Ridge and Paige were trying to send a message: "The Bush Administration may be in favor of white people, but that doesn't mean we can't be in the same room as minorities." I say this fully aware that Paige is, despite popular belief, a minority himself. That's ok though. He's rich.

I especially like the mixture of students and various security agents. Since the press conference was held to unveil a new website aimed at schools to help make emergency planning easier, the message the mishmosh of people behind Ridge sends is clearly, "Please let us sit down now." Er, I mean, "School safety comes first."

At any rate, I did feel a little guilty afterwards. I had just been used to promote the Republican Party. Still, I didn't feel all that bad about missing the protest that went on outside while we were inside. I wasn't sure it was the appropriate time to be marching around. Ridge and Paige weren't there to talk about the war, they were there to talk about emergency planning. That said, I understand why people did protest. It was a great chance to be heard. I mean, the media was there, why not use it?

By the way, the name of the site is www.ed.gov (I'm not linking to it, it's garbage). Yes, "ED." If you're like me, you find that amusing. Afterall, one of the recent Republican presidential candidates is already famous for E.D.

In other news: Documents the Bush crew said linked Iraq to attempts at buying uranium in Africa were faked. It's obvious to me who forged the information, but I hope someone finds proof. There's more to the story and I'm hoping everyone in the US finds out about this, but something tells me they won't. I looked around at various media sites and didn't see a whole lot of stories relating to this news. It was on the front page of the Washington Post this morning and I applaud them for it. Afterall, this is the same paper that has decided it's pro-war. I'm glad they haven't stopped looking for the facts like certain other papers and television programs have.

> KC 5:35 PM [90372611]
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Tom Ridge comes to school tomorrow. I checked in at the main office to see if we could report the news, but there's concern the school will be bombarded with outside anti-war protestors if the word is made too public. Secretary of Education Paige is also supposed to be there and there are rumors (albeit very much unsubstantiated) that Dick Cheney may make an appearance. Now that would be interesting. I'm one of the lucky people who gets to help make their photo-op look good by filling up the bleachers so I'll have the unique opportunity to throw stuff at Cheney if he shows. No doubt I'd be wrestled to the ground by burly secret service agents and arrested, but it'd be worth to price to see a big, slimy spit ball stuck to his forehead.

Random Insight: If ever you should find yourself in a situation where you're chasing your arch-nemisis around a cliff and you happen to scramble off the edge by accident, make sure to keep your eyes fixed straight ahead and don't think about falling. I personally have never tried this, but I hear it doesn't work. Apparently gravity doesn't like to be molded to fit our needs. Still, doing as I suggested in the first sentence of this paragraph would be really funny to watch if someone caught it on camera. Think about it, you'd go out with a bang . . . er, splat.

> KC 10:11 PM [90277627]
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We did it. It's over. The applicants are chosen. It took three cancellations, but now we're done.

Silver Chips Online will be about twice the size it is this year. We ended up taking more people than we probably should have and yet there's still one applicant I feel bad about not taking. Luckily, I personally only had to make one rejection call. That's the toughest part -- telling people that have been waiting for weeks to hear from us and who worked pretty much all semester to get to this point that we just couldn't find enough space to squeeze them in. I obviously can't talk specifics, but I know some people had to deal with applicants breaking down over the phone while others dealt with students who were obviously less-than-thrilled about the positions they were offered.

It was an interesting and, on some level, fun experience, but not something I ever want to do again. I'm not sure I like having the power to decide how another student's life will look next year. It's hard listening to kids in interviews talk about how much they want to be on staff and then telling them, in a horribly blunt phone call, "We're sorry, but we don't have any positions to offer you. Good night."

At any rate, I did get to pass on the good news to Chris that he got the sysops position for online. It was a tough choice, let me tell you. Chris was in an intensely competitive pool of applicants that consisted of . . . himself. In honor of his achievement, I bestow upon him this "Best of Chips" award. Print it out, Chris, you earned it.

> KC 9:06 PM [90148373]
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In the vein of the Book-a-minute thingymagummer on KC's "Charles Dickens" link, I find this incredibly funny. You may not. There's only one way to find out...



In completely unrelated news, thank god people named Thornstein Veblen existed, just to make doing homework exciting. Sort of.

> Abby 9:45 PM [90086669]
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Ready, Aim...

I liked Hard Times. Should I be watching out for knives in my back, unidentified flying food aimed at my head, or KC with the wrench in the computer lab?

> Abby 8:18 PM [90081951]
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What a horrible day of college basketball. First Duke lost after pretty much dominating the second half. They decided that they no longer needed to score so St. John's got back in the game. The Red Storm won on a bad foul call, but still, I give them credit. They deserved the win if not that last point that got them the "W." After that, Maryland beat NC State on a late 3-pointer after being behind almost the whole game from what I've heard.

I didn't get a chance to see the UMD game because I had to finish up my horribly written Hard Times essay. Charles Dickens: Thank you for being mortal. No one wanted to read anymore of your books.

You know, Dr. D'Angelo should just get a stamp that says "B-" and stamp it on a bunch of sheets of computer paper so I can print my essays out with the grade already on it and she doesn't have to read my bull shit anymore. One of these days I'm going to learn how to write an essay right. Of course, by the time I learn, I'll probably be out in the working world and never have to write one again.

> KC 2:47 AM [90038839]
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Terminal Verbosity

Yesterday while playing Scrabble, I hit "REQUIEM" on a double word score. Damn, am I proud of myself.

> Abby 6:03 PM [89971633]
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I read an article by Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post this morning. It concerned Toni Smith, a Division III women's college basketball player at Manhattanville College. Every game when the National Anthem is sung, she turns away from the flag and bows her head in protest over the now inevitable war in Iraq and the Bush administration. According to the article, she's heckled by fans everywhere she plays and was once even accosted by a Vietnam War vet.

I have to say I really admire her courage. She's standing up for what she believes in and making people sit up and take notice. I personally get up and say the pledge every morning because my interpretation of the flag is different from hers. I'm not pledging allegiance to the current government, I'm pledging allegiance to what this country stands for and all the good it has done in the past. There's no doubt that the US has done plenty of horrible things too, but I'm still proud to be an American citizen most of the time.

Smith views the flag as a symbol of support for everything the US is doing and has done. I certainly understand that perspective and that's why I like what Smith is doing. She's making her opinion heard and giving a voice to the rest of us out here who agree with her stance. As Jenkins pointed out, she's the very definintion of a patriot: she's using her First Amendment rights.

If there's something wrong with that, then I don't think I want to live here anymore.

> KC 3:41 PM [89966532]
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