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-- Sunday, June 22, 2003 --

Hulk: The Incredible Conversation/Scathing Review

With your hosts Branden "B182bwb" Buehler and KC "KCNile" Costanzo

KCNile: went to see the hulk after that with my two of my friends and morgan
KCNile: my god did that movie suck
B182bwb: well, duh
KCNile: but. it was beyond bad. it was . . . . horrible. like a bad dream
B182bwb: just count the days 'till shaolin soccer
B182bwb: that will counter the crappiness of hulk
KCNile: er
KCNile: i dont think anything can counteract the shittyness of the hulk
KCNile: you couldn't actually see the big fight scene at the end because its almost completely black. im not even sure what the bad guy looked like at the end
KCNile: and there is no plot
B182bwb: but... did HULK SMASH
KCNile: yes. . . over and over and over again. id say the second half of the movie consisted primarily of hulk taking five mile leaps and then hitting a helicopter or tank and throwing it into a mountain side or something while everyone in the theater laughed
B182bwb: people laughed?
KCNile: yes. pretty much throughout the movie
KCNile: people would laugh whenever hulk did anything
B182bwb: because the people were stupid... or the movie was stupid
KCNile: the movie was stupid. for instance, at the end of the movie he explodes and everyone thinks hes dead. but it turns out he went to south america and became a medicine man for no reason at all.
B182bwb: really?
KCNile: and then someone steals his medicine and he says "you wouldn't like me when im angry" in spanish and the movie ends
KCNile: yes
KCNile: really
B182bwb: that's pretty bad
KCNile: no kidding
KCNile: one of the bad guys he fights is a mutant poodle
B182bwb: and people actually wrote the script?
B182bwb: not monkeys?
KCNile: im not sure exactly
KCNile: they tried really hard to make it look like a comic book so there were transitions every five seconds and split screens almost all the time. sometimes the split screens showed the same things only at slightly different angles
B182bwb: but comic books.... don't move
B182bwb: I read some review that talked about how great that was, and just thought, "wow, that would suck to watch"
KCNile: indeed it did
KCNile: it was really confusing. the first half of the movie is pretty much banner experimenting with stuff and then watching it explode. like, for instance, a frog.
B182bwb: that sounds cool
KCNile: probably the best scene in the movie
B182bwb: that's a better peak than some movies
B182bwb: how fake looking was the hulk?
KCNile: um, i dunno. he looked pretty fake but i dont know how much of that was the graphics or the fact that its hard to make a green giant look realistic
B182bwb: well, as long he wasn't jolly
KCNile: the thing that didnt make sense was that he could jump like a mile into the air and a mile far. doesnt really work even given his proportions.
B182bwb: but... he's the hulk
B182bwb: he can do whatever he wants
B182bwb: because he's mad
B182bwb: and anger is cool
KCNile: right. forgot about that
KCNile: i wasnt really sure if we were supposed to like him or not. he kept killing people
B182bwb: that was an attempt to make you feel "conflicted"
B182bwb: and it was supposed to make you go "that was a thought-provoking movie"
KCNile: indeed. i had many thoughts after the movie such as "why was the hulk such a jack ass?" and "did i really just spend more than two hours in that theater?"
B182bwb: so, it was thought-provoking
B182bwb: so, it was thus worth your money and time
KCNile: i . . . i never looked at it that way
B182bwb: you are not a qualified movie-goer
KCNile: i guess you're right. thank god we have abby. surely she knows how to watch a movie properly
B182bwb: yes, thank goodness
B182bwb: she will surely praise the movie for all of it's worth
KCNile: yes. . . i dont doubt that she will.

> KC 9:52 PM [105633312816640716]
> (0) comments

God hates America. Well, at least according to the freak who runs godhatesamerica.com. I asked him if his site was just a big joke and if I was reading too far into it. Here's what he told me.

From: "God Hates America"
To: "'Keith Costanzo'"
Subject: RE: hi
Date: Mon, 7 Apr 2003 08:20:00 -0500

If it was His will to let this nation grow powerful, arrogant, prideful and pompous, then yes He would, and has.  You obviously don't know much about the Bible, otherwise you wouldn't ask such an obvious question.  God raised up Pharaoh for the express purpose of showing His power through Pharaoh's destruction during the Exodus of the Israelites.  He raised up Babylon for the express purpose of showing His wrath agains Israel (a strong, militarily mighty and wealthy nation at the time).  God does with His creation what He pleases.
 
Thank you for visiting www.godhatesamerica.com.  Please visit our sister site, www.godhatesfags.com, and for an interesting view into Westboro Baptist Church, visit www.fredthemovie.com.

There you have it folks. A well thought out justification for why God hates America. Clearly after such amazing argumentation, I was forced to agree . . . or at least smile and nod. But after reading his email, I had to ask him why God wasn't a fan of homosexuals either.

From: "God Hates America"
To: "'Keith Costanzo'"
Subject: RE: hi continued
Date: Mon, 7 Apr 2003 08:20:35 -0500

It isn't a joke, and have a nice time on your way to hell.

Thus began the start of a long, beautiful relationship.

> KC 8:18 AM [105516113727208089]
> (0) comments