> netslackers <

"At slow speed we all seem focused"
-- Friday, May 06, 2005 --

I've not made a post in quite some while and for the sake of convenience I'll blame Cornell's workload because as far as everyone else knows, it is horrendous and I have no reason to soften that reputation. I might as well walk out of college being considered somewhat academically hardcore.

This week actually, though, has been ridiculously crazy; what with having 3 papers due within 3 days, getting about as many hours of sleep in those 3 days, watching the most emotionally intense episodes of 24 and the OC ever, sitting amazed at the Wizards' inability to close things out without drama and so much more. Whatev - now, classes are over and at Cornell the end of class means one thing: Slope Day.

According to Cornell, "Slope Day is the traditional end of the year celebration held on the last day of classes in the spring semester, this year on May 6, 2005. The name Slope Day derives from “Libe” or “Library” Slope, where the event is held each year. There is a long history of a spring time gathering here at Cornell University , dating back through various shapes and forms, to “Spring Day” in 1901." This definition doesn't quite capture the event, though, because it leaves out the mention of alcohol, which is quite key, as on this day practically everyone on the aforementioned slope is, in the words of the famous 18th century Enlightenment poet J-Kwon, "gettin' tipsy."

To try to promote a non-alcohol environment, though, Cornell has tried to regulate the day by bringing in musicians, food, etc. In its infinite wisdom, Cornell, which even Rolling Stone found the space to point out, approved this year's headliner to be Snoop Dogg, whom, as we all know, heavily encourages a drug and alcohol-free lifestyle, as evidenced by the massive blunt he was holding on stage today.

Overall, the day was incredibly surreal, and I will tell you why. To begin with, I was, as far as I could tell, about the only sober person on the entire slope. Thus, as I walked around, none of my conversations were quite normal and I was getting bumped into about as much as I do when I engage in games of football (and this has nothing to do with it being a contact sport, just that I normally play football with Magnet friends from high school who tend to not be able to run in straight lines... but, I kid! Wait, no one else actually reads this, so no kid). Secondly, soon after I arrived, the Game, who was on stage at the time, yelled "ITHACA, MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING NOISE!" Typical stage banter, yes, but then I thought about it -- one of the world's top-selling rap artists was yelling at a rural, upstate New York town to make some "motherfucking noise." I found it amusing. I should move on.

Not long after the Game departed from the stage, I was walking around the upper part of the slope trying to find a new set of friends to hang out with as each time I found some friends, they tended to wander off in a drunken haze. During this particular walk, I noticed a pick-up game of football. Then, I noticed cameras. The Game (and some of his posse, who are noticeably distinct from the average Cornell student, I must say) was playing pickup football with some Cornell students and I don't think most people noticed as I think most people were too drunk to be cognizant of anything more than their need to pee. Standing a foot or so away from a rap star playing football with a bunch of awkward-looking Ivy League students did nothing to detract from the day's dream-like qualities.

However, nothing could top the weirdness that was the performance of the one and only Snoop Dogg. While some may have protested against Snoop for being absolutely repugnant when singing about women and others attacked his cavalier attitude towards drugs, I doubt there could be a more perfect Slope Day act. I do not like rap very much, but I like Snoop Dogg. This attitude, I believe, is widely shared. Snoop Dogg has become a novelty hard to top. He went from someone parents feared due to a murder trial to one likeable dude who appears on TV all the time saying things that end in "izzle" and who is normally comically stoned -- his music is mostly irrelevant to most people. That being said, I sat through one and a half hours of Snoop just to hear "Drop it like it's hot." And he sure did drop that song like it's hot (I now feel the urge to write for Entertainment Weekly) after one of the oddest sets ever, which included an odd sequence in which his DJ just played two Notorious BIG songs, a Tupac song, then a few songs later, a Mario song, none of which Snoop did anything during. Perhaps I don't get rap concerts.

In the end, the day can best be summed up by the sound of "meh." Perhaps, if Kelly Clarkson had been there, I would be more psyched right now. Snoop Dogg just doesn't have anything to top "Since U Been Gone" (which works for me on so many levels) and thus, I can only wait with anticipation to the possibility she will be there next year.

> Branden 11:49 PM [111544521188432436]
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